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Not InsaneLet's go to my wonderful land
Come and follow me, take my hand.
Magical, glittering Rainbowunicorns are flying around
with a funny, happy sound.
Beautiful Rainbows are bleeding ducks!
Oh wait, I think that are giant bugs.
Go to the rainbow sea just follow the wind
but please wait for me I think I lost my lint!
You'll see potatoes! Potatoes everywhere!
Potatoes here and there.
But don't forget to kill the ones who are bad
Or you'll make the snail really sad.
What did you say pink elephant?
You want to eat your ant?
Oh no, I'm not insane, I just have fun.
Call it fun or you need to run.
We can set the pantie trees on fire!
Throw some lollys and they'll burn brighter!
Wait, you forgot to paint your hat red!
Do it or the goat will get mad.
Come and follow me in my wonderful land!
Or I'll kill you and eat your hand.
It feels like someone's stabbing me and ripping my heart out.
Squeezing it and throwing it against a wall.
This pain... It doesn't want to stop.
It will never stop.
Why should it?
I know that it won't.
I know it.
It will stay in my heart.
It will always be in my heart.
Until I die.
Pain and depressions.
It's all I feel.
But I try to hide it behind my fucking fake-smile.
For my parents.
For my friends.
I don't want them to worry about me.
I don't want them to be sad, when I tell them how depressed I am.
How bad I want to die.
I want to hide it.
I bottle it up.
Try to ignore it.
Until the day comes where I lose my last nerve, when I can't to this anymore.
When it was too much for me.
When I break down and nothing can save me anymore.
Then please forgive me when this day comes.
And I know it will sooner or later.
I tried to ignore it.
I tried to be happy.
I tried to get well.
I tried to get rid of this pain.
The pain that destroyed m
GraceDo you know that moment
when you start to cry and just can't stop?
And your tears are running drop by drop.
Your heart says what you do is wrong
but you mind says "Just pretend to be strong."
But do you know how hard it is
To show them your fake smile and your fake happiness?
If you don't have hope in your heart
and even not a little smile on your face.
All you can do is wait for gods grace.
The others just don't care
I told you, life isn't fair.
That's one of the reasons why I want to die
and one of the reasons why I always cry.
But whatever I do I never forget
to put the fake smile on my face
because all I can do is wait for gods grace.
...I know I always hurt you
and give you a feeling that destroys you.
Believe me I never wanted to do that
I’m sorry I can understand it when you’re sad.
I know you think that I don’t love you
I can understand it because of the things I do.
But I try to stop only to see you smile
That special smile, what I haven’t seen in a while.
Always when I look in the sky
I think of you and start to cry
because of all the bad thinks I did
please believe me I really regret it.
You are always helping me
even If I say that you don’t need to do.
You changed my life
Please tell me how I can thank you.
I’m so sorry and I love you
You was always right.
You are my angel,
You are my savior in the night.
Battle ScarsThe Girls I Babysit:
Carly:"What are those? *pointing to my scars on my wrist*"
Me: "They're battle scars."
Anna: "Cool! Can I have some?"
Me: "Please don't ever get some okay? But when you see someone with them like the ones I have on their wrists go hug them. Don't ever make fun of them okay?"
As we're walking around Wal Mart with both of them holding my hands, a young girl walks by us. Carly and Anna go and hug her. She hugs these two adorable little girls back
Girl: "Why are you hugging me?"
Carly: "You have battle scars. *points to her wrists*"
And through her tears she looks up at me and smiles.
LiesLife can be cruel, I know
I'm sad and depressed but I don't want to show.
And I don't want that you see
how much even little words are hurting me.
I'm crying every night
And I know it isn't right.
But I try to hide my sad face with a smile
Even if I want to scream and cry.
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see
You think you see me happy?
You're wrong I'm not happy anymore
I'm getting depressed more and more.
I wish I would never wake up
Because I know my depressions won't stop.
Look deeper in my tearfully eyes
And finally you see, I'm not happy.
I'm lying every day
I do it in my own way
I try to smile
I'm doing it now for a long while.
Don't come to me and say you want to help me
Because you need to know that no one understands me.
But it's okay, I won't stop lying
And you'll never see me crying.
Life can be cruel, I know
I'm sad and depressed but I don't want to show.
And I don't want that you see
how much even little words are hurting me.
GoodbyeOn the first snowday, my friend
on the first snowday, everything will end.
I'll run away, alone over the frozen dark sea
run away from everything and flee.
The sea grows from my own tears
grows from my blood
from the evil shadows
and from my fears.
I want to be gone, I can't do this anymore
The monster inside me is growing more and more.
Please stay away from me, I'll just hurt you
Stay away from me or I'll destroy you.
The monster inside me is controlling me
I don't want to hurt you, I'll flee.
And don't come to me again and hold my hand
saying "Please don't leave me, I go with you my friend."
I'm so sorry but I need to leave
and please don't sink again in hurtful grief.
I promise, I'll never forget you my friend
I'll always think of you until the beat in my heart ends.
I was taught right from wrong I was taught right from wrong
By a murderer
I was taught truth from lies
By a magician
I was taught who my friends were
By my enemy
I was taught to be honest
By a professional liar
I was taught to always speak my mind
By being told to keep quiet
I was taught to be kind
By someone that beat me down
I was taught to smile
By someone who could never wipe a scowl of their face
I was taught to love
By being abused
I was taught to live
By someone who was already dead
I was taught to perform
By someone with stage fright
I was taught to be excellent
By someone that failed in everything
I was taught to rely on only my self
By being surrounded with people
I was taught to be perfect
By those that wanted to see me fail
I was taught to be loyal
By everyone that ever walked out of my life
I was taught to make people happy
By everyone who ever made me miserable
I was taught to control my temper
By those with explosive tempers
I was taught to take care of myself
By those who tried to kill me
I was taug
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
About sadness.I have always waited
waited for insanity to come.
Everything is rated
by others, but I am all alone.
Buying things to compensate
all the things I ever lost
All things to abbreviate
the urge of things I needed most.
The feeling of happiness
is now filled with loneliness;
sadness with expansion.
My Own HellI think of ways
To waste away
With this time left unpaid
I sit and reflect
On the breath in my chest
And the words left unsaid
I rot and writhe in darkness
My heart helpless and a mess
Filled with this sick unrest
I look up and see nothing
I look inside and see worse than nothing
I watch the lies and hear the sighs
The lonely breaths of emptiness
Into an empty world only I know
The one I created for myself
You may breach the castle walls
But the stone will never crumble
And the fortress will never fall
Who hears the cries of a helpless child
Who hears the cracking of a broken heart
Who hears the death of a dying smile
Watch the words twist in agony
Writhing upon the cold hard ground
Burning to ash like paper set to flame
A dead world unknown to others
Wrapped in words of hurt
And fires that burn forever
The plains of Hell never looked so heavenly
I am not a stereotypeSlide the blade across your wrist.
"Doesn't it hurt?"
I can't feel anything.
Punch your own stomach.
Does it hurt yet?
"Why do you do that?"
The pain makes me feel alive.
"I don't know."
"What's wrong with you?"
I'm dead inside.
I'm just depressed.
Stare at your arms.
"What are you doing?"
I just have low self esteem.
I'm just human.
I'm just me.
MuteI rip out my vocal cords
One at a time
With no disregard towards
The blood and gore I'm
Getting on my rotting palms
No one cares anyways
They wouldn't care if I was dropping bombs
They're too wrapped up in their own days
Why make myself mute
Now they can't hear me complain
About my oh so very cute
And insignificant pain
Now they won't need
To suffer anymore
They will be freed
From me, only a constant sore
MessEverywhere I go
Every single place
The troubles seem to grow
Every smiling face
Eventually frowns with woe
Why can't I do
I just screw
Up everything despite
The happiness I try to spew
Is it me
Am I the source of this ache
Does the pain flow free
Is this what I make
Should I go away and hide
Never to see others
Or the outside
But would I stop another's
Pain and be the only one that ever cried
What is a life with no grey
When everyone is sad
I'd give it all away
It wouldn't be that bad
I would finally be able to say
I saved a life
In absence of a poem.I chewed my pen to the nib
and swallowed the ink thoughtlessly,
but no matter how long I thought,
I couldn't say what you mean to me.
I tried, I tried and I tested,
every word in my diminutive range,
but I screwed up more pieces of paper
and happened upon something strange;
I noticed words, which have served me,
for all of my formative years,
had no power to convey my gratitude
for the times that you dried my tears.
Whenever I doubt myself (often),
You're the one who tells me I'm wrong
You lift up my chin and remind me, wait
for the good things that will come along.
I can't find a way to express how
you are the saving grace in my head.
So words can't tell you how I love you -
I hope my silence will tell you instead.
What You KnowSometimes the disinfectant hurts more than the infection,
Sometimes the pain is better than the protection.
Sometimes the tears sting more than the smile,
Sometimes the yard tires more than the mile.
Sometimes the blood shines brighter than the blade,
Sometimes the heart is blacker than the spade.
Sometimes the kiss is sharper than the slap,
Sometimes the lure is worth the trap.
Sometimes the night is lighter than the day,
Sometimes the beast is weaker than the prey.
Sometimes the cut hurts less than the sob,
Sometimes the break is harder than the job.
Sometimes the lie is prettier than the truth,
Sometimes the alibi is better than the proof.
Sometimes the hate is kinder than the love,
Sometimes the buzzard is holier than the dove.
Sometimes the loser gains more than the winner,
Sometimes the saint is worse than the sinner.
Sometimes the girl is stronger than the boy,
Sometimes the child is more broken than the toy.
Sometimes the poison is sweeter than the cure,
Sometimes the dirty are
Monsters are following you, they tell you to die.
Smile as long as you can, it won't last for a while.
You're not normal, my friend, that's all in your head.
Don't cry, you stupid child, it will start again and again.
"Talk to us.
Talk to us!
Listen to us.
We tell the truth!"
Life or Death? You need to choose.
It was too much for you and now you're dead.
And no one will be sad.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More